Leading with curiosity: How questions, not answers, define great leaders
There’s a common misconception that leaders need to have all the answers all the time. Like in moments when a team member’s head swivels toward you searching for your opinion, or when the meeting participants look at you expectantly, pens drawn, ready to scribble down exactly what you might say. But I’m here to caution you away from the default reaction to lead with answers because it’s not the most impactful way to unlock your team’s potential.
In reality, the best leaders are more focused on asking questions than leading with answers. In this article, I’ll share some researched-backed evidence for this mindset, along with practical advice for asking better questions and leading with inquiry.
Why Questions Matter More Than Answers
Curiosity can change the course of a conversation, project, or team dynamic. I’ve seen it firsthand during workshops when the prompt for the session is a problem statement that starts with “how might we…,” leaving the door optimistically propped open for exploration, or when a leader holds off on making a decisive statement and instead looks to the team and asks “what do you think” before sharing their own perspective.
Your superpower as a leader lies in steering your team along the often-winding road of progress, tapping into their skills and expertise as you forge a path forward. Taking a question-first mindset will create benefits like:
Inquiry over certainty = better decision-making: Solutions emerge from diverse perspectives, not predetermined conclusions. If we push our teams toward a specific solution, we miss out on other possibilities that may actually serve the customer or business better. This is why I always use purpose statements and problem statements to align teams to their North Star—from there, we can constantly refer back to the “why” every time we hold up a possible solution against it.
Questions unlock creativity and problem-solving: When you’re trying to break ground and innovate in a bigger way, asking vs telling is a superpower. Assuming a certain solution can keep you in the neighborhood of where you are today, but questions leave the door open to new ideas. Too often, I see teams jump to solutions trying to figure out “how do we build Y?” when the first question is actually, “How do we solve X problem for our customers?”
Building trust and inclusion: When leaders ask people for their input, ideas, and perspectives, they signal that every voice matters. Leading with curiosity lends itself to openness and vulnerability, and these are precursors to creativity. You’ll know your people feel seen and heard when they’re comfortable speaking up, sharing their thoughts, collaborating with others, and taking calculated risks.
The Art of Asking Better Questions
In her book TALK, Harvard professor Alison Wood Brooks says, “...without questions, conversations risk unfolding as parallel monologues between speakers. Questions…allow speakers to respond, interact, and build—they allow people to collaborate and co-create.”
In her research, she found that asking more questions correlates with all kinds of positive outcomes, like improving relationships. That’s right. Her data shows that “people who ask more questions are better liked.”
Want to tap into that? When you run a brainstorm, ideation session, or strategic meeting, you can and should prepare your question “game” in advance to optimize for asking questions rather than giving answers. Here’s how:
Embrace follow-up questions: Alison Wood Brooks says that follow-up questions both affirm to people that they’ve been heard and also “lead a partner through an exciting drift, opening new worlds and topics.” Avoid assuming you understand too soon and don’t be afraid to ask follow-up questions that will allow the ideas to bloom naturally.
Use silence as a tool: Another important aspect of curiosity is silence. When you don’t immediately respond, it allows people to sit in ambiguity for longer and creates space for them to process and surface deeper insights. You also remove your POV, which could sway the group before they’ve even had time to think on their own. When I facilitate, I often use a timer for sketching or ideation exercises, which gives people space to think on their own before sharing with the group (more on that shortly).
Replace leading questions with open-ended ones: This one is obvious, but if we’re not mindful, it’s easy to fall into the habit of asking yes-or-no questions like, “Do you agree?” Instead, ask questions that encourage long-form answers, like “Can you say more about how that might work?” or “How do you think users would benefit from that change?” or “Where do you see this evolving five years from now?”
Curiosity in Action: Practical Ways to Lead with Inquiry
“Asking [questions] is a form of caring—an acknowledgement of your partner's unique mind and your continued willingness to engage with whatever they might say back. It shows your commitment to uncovering treasure together.” — Alison Wood Brooks
And uncover treasure you will! I’ve been leading workshops for almost 20 years and can tell you the more that questions, curiosity, and openness are present, the better your outcomes will be.
Here are a few ways you can start leading like this today:
Incorporate reflective pauses and independent work time: To start getting comfortable with silence, build time for independent ideation and internal processing into your sessions. For example, give your team X minutes to take their own notes or sketch something, then reconvene and ask everyone to share. This helps avoid herd mentality, encourages divergent thinking, and deters the loudest voices from monopolizing the conversation.
Plan meetings differently: In advance of a meeting, ask your team “What’s the most important thing we should talk about?” Or bring a list of topics to your meeting and spend a few minutes upfront letting your team prioritize them. This allows people to define the agenda, elevate their own issues, and reveal what matters most to them.
Model that it’s okay not to have all the answers: Admit when you don’t know the answer to something, or aren’t sure what direction you want to give. Acknowledge when you’re in a moment of co-creation where there are no definitive answers. Remember, it’s ok to say that you don't know! This shows your ability to be human, and models to your team that the goal isn’t to have it all figured out ASAP—it’s to navigate ambiguity together.
Leading with Curiosity: A Final Action Item
Great leaders aren’t the ones with all the answers—they’re the ones who ask the best questions. If you feel overwhelmed or don’t know where to start, remember this simple note-to-self before you head into any meeting: Ask more and assume less. Even this small action is going to create large ripples in the way you lead your teams and, as a result, in the way they navigate their work.
Feel free to reach out to discuss my coaching and training options if you want some 1:1 support developing this muscle memory, or to see if a workshop is right for your team.