Transform teams and boost your EQ with this invisible leadership skill

Some of the most effective and motivating leaders know how to create an environment where people feel safe to think, speak, and contribute fully. This is a direct result of holding space; a “soft” skill that may sound buzzwordy but is critical to unlocking your team’s true potential. But what does “holding space” really mean with regard to leading? And what impact can you expect to see when you embody it?

Here, I’ll cover three practical ways you can improve your ability to hold space in your leadership role, with actionable “homework” assignments to help you build muscle memory around this skill.

Holding Space Is a Leadership Superpower

In a recent strategic planning workshop, things took a turn when it became clear that a number of the leaders participating in the session wanted something different from the planned agenda—an agenda I created in partnership with the CEO at the helm of the initiative, who was present in the room. 

But rather than squash the input, she welcomed it. 

In this moment, two things were abundantly clear: 

• The team felt empowered to speak up and ask for what they wanted—something unlikely to occur if the group didn’t feel safe and supported.

• The CEO was willing to hear and respond to emergent needs, giving me the green light to pivot on the fly so we could explore the things they were passionate about digging into that day. 

• Shifting would result in greater commitment to the work—when people have the ability to shape things, they become more invested.

This was a turning point in our workshop because:

• Safety is the foundation of innovation. What we’re really talking about is creating a culture where people feel free to contribute their thinking, even when it’s uncertain, half-baked, or different. If people fear judgment, they won’t take creative risks. Treating people as humans first, and navigating interactions with kindness gives your team permission to take calculated risks without fear of being penalized or berated for being curious. When you snuff out curiosity, you snuff out innovation.

• Listening deeply leads to better alignment, trust, and vulnerability. When people feel heard, they’re more open to change and less apt to take things personally (which puts people on the defensive, keeping them firmly planted in their corner and less open to change).

• The power to pivot demonstrates adaptability and vulnerability. When you respond to emergent needs—assuming they are on topic—it keeps people at the center of the work and shows that you have their best interests and outcomes in mind. More on that here.

Holding space isn’t passive—it’s active. It asks you to set the right conditions for meaningful dialogue and to shift your mindset about the way you show up for your teams.

3 Practical Ways to Hold Space as a Leader

1. Balance openness with action

If you lead new-product development or teams who are responsible for adapting and supporting transformation in an org, you probably spend a lot of time working through ambiguity. It can be an uncomfortable place to operate, but it’s also where big, meaningful ideas emerge. 

Within this space especially—during brainstorms, ideation sessions, Design Sprints, collaborative workshops—your task is to balance openness with action. That means creating a space where everyone is heard without letting conversations spiral. It means avoiding rushing to conclusions and shutting down deeper insights. 

Your Homework: In your next meeting, focus on asking questions rather than leading with answers. When you decenter yourself and host people in a way that allows them to be more exploratory, it results in more collaborative and unbiased work. In this article, I share some practical advice for asking better questions and leading with curiosity.

2. Ask, then actually listen

All too often, people ask questions and then steer the answer. This is ineffective because it discourages participation and creates friction between you and your team. As a result, you miss opportunities to unlock new avenues, ideas, and answers. 

But here’s the thing: active listening isn’t a passive, sit-back-and-relax activity. Not only do you need to stay present with what’s being discussed in the room, but you also need to receive information, synthesize it, play it back, and paraphrase what you’ve heard. It builds trust, drives understanding and collaboration, and helps teams align and gain clarity 

Your Homework: Silence can feel uncomfortable, but it’s necessary. Next time your team gathers, notice if everyone looks at you when a question is asked. This might be a sign that they’re used to leaning on you for direction rather than flexing their own expertise and creativity. Your homework is to learn to sit with a pause instead of filling it, and to be selective about when you chime in. 

For more on this topic, check out these 5 tips for improving your active listening skills.

3. Neutralize power dynamics

One of the greatest gifts you can give your team is the invisible and underappreciated gift of adjusting the way you lead meetings based on known power dynamics and internal politics.

Small shifts, like changing seating arrangements or speaking last, can encourage more participation. If the share of voice is tipping toward one person, find a way to interject and acknowledge the thought while also assertively taking back control of the room (“That’s a great thought, and I’m going to keep us moving so we can get to…”). Use a timer to promote equal share-time during feedback (I often do this when I lead sessions). When everyone is allotted the same amount of time and the buzzer dings, cutting off the speaker isn’t personal, it’s simply playing by the rules.

Your Homework: Do an assessment of your team to identify areas where they’re prone to conflict, tension, and getting off track. Can you design your next meeting with some of the aforementioned tools to help diffuse, deflect, and deter derailing behavior? Curating a meeting experience based on what you know about the group isn’t manipulative—it’s thoughtful. Just like you might plan seating arrangements for a dinner party to encourage good conversation, designing your next team gathering with care can lead to a more productive and enjoyable experience for everyone.

Here are a few more tips for effectively managing domineering behavior. 

Holding Space is a Nonnegotiable 

As a leader, it’s your job—to the best of your ability—to create an environment where people can work together successfully. Holding space isn’t about being a pushover or passively letting your team follow every whim. It’s about making sure the best ideas and insights emerge—the ones that will lead to breakthroughs and the accomplishment of big goals.

It’s likely that you’re already exercising some of these skills, but if you’re feeling overwhelmed by all of my homework assignments, give yourself permission to start small. In your next conversation, resist the urge to immediately respond—just listen and see what happens. The results may surprise you.