Title: Being Clear is Kind: 5 Ways to Give Feedback More Effectively
Being able to give direct feedback is one of the most important aspects of leadership. It can sometimes feel easier to dodge direct language or soften our words too much because we think we’re being kind. But, as Brené Brown reminds us, “Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind.”
When we avoid saying what we mean and prioritize being nice over being real, it creates confusion, misalignment, and frustration. Even worse, a lack of clarity erodes trust.
Clarity, on the other hand, gives people what they need to move forward with confidence. It keeps teams focused on shared goals, reduces unnecessary stress, and reinforces accountability. When everyone knows where they stand, they can do their best work.
Let’s unpack what it looks like to be both clear and kind in practice, and how to use that clarity to build trust and momentum.
5 Ways to Be Clear and Kind
1. Set the Context and Intention
Start with the “why.” Anchoring tough conversations in shared goals helps depersonalize the message.
“This might be uncomfortable, but we need to make a call so we don’t block progress.”
When people understand the purpose behind the feedback, they’re more open to hearing it.
2. Say What You Mean Without Over-Qualifying
Hedging might feel polite, but it muddies the message. Your team can’t act on vague guidance.
Instead of “Maybe this direction isn’t ideal,” try “This direction doesn’t deliver on the objectives we defined for the quarter.”
Directness leads to greater clarity, and that keeps you moving forward quickly.
3. Balance Candor with Empathy
Being clear doesn’t mean being cold. When we over-index on clarity, we risk seeming harsh in a way that damages morale. But when we over-index on nicety, it results in vagueness and mixed signals.
It’s about striking a balance and leading with empathy so that your message lands from a place of respect and kindness.
“I know this idea is close to your heart. Here’s the concern I see in terms of scalability.”
It’s possible to challenge an idea while honoring the person behind it. Just be compassionate in how you deliver it.
4. Confirm Shared Understanding
Clarity isn’t a one-way street. After tough conversations, make sure everyone’s on the same page.
“Let’s summarize what we’ve agreed on. Can someone restate the decision?”
This small step prevents assumptions and ensures alignment moving forward.
5. End With Commitment and Ownership
Clarity without next steps just creates another kind of ambiguity. Close every conversation with clear ownership and timing.
“So we’re aligned on X, and Y will take ownership. Let’s check back in next Tuesday.”
Accountability transforms talk into action.
Clarity Is a Gift
Leaders and facilitators alike are tasked with the job of creating clarity and steering teams in the right direction. And we can’t do it effectively if we’re too afraid to be clear, or too rash to be kind.
Next time you feel the urge to soften or delay a hard message, remember: Being direct is being kind. When you pair honesty with empathy, you’re not just communicating clearly, you’re building a culture of trust, respect, and momentum.