Why Curious People Get Unstuck

What I learned about curiosity, adaptability, and moving through the hard things.

Curiosity. It might just be the antidote you need right now, especially if you’re spinning and stuck.

I've always been a curious person and am endlessly asking questions and following the threads to understand and untangle. This is in part why I thrive in settings where I help organizations and teams move from sticky or ambiguous situations into something more clear and directed.

I've been told at moments, when navigating my own hard things, that I appear unruffled, resilient, steady. I am now seeing the link between my own natural curiosity and my even-keeled way of rolling through rough water.

My recent read of Mattering: The Secret to Building a Life of Deep Connection and Purpose by Jennifer Breheny Wallace showed me that curiosity is useful for more than just learning and problem solving; it's a powerful tool for adaptability and resilience.

When faced with stress or adversity, curious people are more likely to approach their feelings with an open mind, exploring their emotional reactions instead of avoiding or suppressing them.

Curiosity increases psychological flexibility. When we feel unstable or life is turned upside down, curiosity can buffer us from the negative impact of life's events.

When we are up against a disorienting experience, we may get through it more easily when we look outward. Maybe this is similar to looking at the skyline instead of your feet when you're experiencing motion sickness on a boat? Looking out can steady us within. 

But curiosity isn't our default setting.

We’re often so focused on ourselves and expressing our thoughts or defending our beliefs, that we forget to challenge our perspective or get curious about what others think or feel. 

So, how can you prime yourself for more curiosity?

1. Turn toward your own reaction

Next time something knocks you sideways and the instinct is to fix it fast or get away from how it feels, stay in it one more minute. Explore the feeling. Not to stew in it, but to get more information.

TRY THIS:

Finish two sentences on paper. "What I'm feeling is ______."

Then, "What's underneath it is ______."

Does this information help you see the situation in a new way?

2. Look sideways

A hard situation may be one you'd never have chosen: an aspect of the business that's unfamiliar, or a new customer challenge that's emerged.

Somewhere, a problem like yours has been worked through by people in another field.

TRY THIS:

Identify one part of the situation that's unfamiliar to you. Maybe you're in direct to consumer retail and you would benefit from looking at utilities. Give it thirty minutes of research. Did you learn anything from looking outside your field that might help you see the challenge you're facing in a new light?

3. Go find someone who's been through it

Other people bring other perspectives. Somebody has already navigated this, or something very similar, and is carrying lessons learned. They may even be inside your own organization. If it isn't a work problem, they might be in your community.

TRY THIS:

Write down three people who you know or suspect have come through something like what you're in. Send one a note this week with a question in it: "I'm working through this. I think you have perspective. What do you know now that you wish you'd known then?"

What changes, and what doesn’t

Getting curious isn't about bypassing the hard things. It's not about making them smaller or less real. What can change is the way you approach the process of moving through. Asking instead of bracing.

Nothing beats a conversation with someone whose perspective shifts how you're seeing things. If your team is stuck in something ambiguous and the conversations keep circling, send me a note. Untangling is the work I like best.